|An AU GT fic of my OCs Bloodshed and Thornstriker. Seems to be doing well... Hopefully you'll take a chance and give it a read! New chapter every month on the 28th!|
Please - go on and give it a read. I'd love your feedback. ^_^
IncentiveTitle: IncentiveIncentive by xLosersRuleTheWorldx
Warnings: AU, fluff, het, human, office-verse
Eclipse gave a soft sigh and knocked on the door. She knew it was always best to knock before entering, especially if Megatron was concentrating on something and was tuning everything out. The first time she had entered his study, she didn't knock and had startled him. And Megatron always got violent when he was startled... He called it a reflex but Eclipse just found it to be frightening. So, from then on, she always knocked. And because she did, she never ended up being pin to the wall by her throat.
She opened the door and walked into Megatron's study. He was at his computer, typing away at it and working on reports and contracts. She was also certain that he was emailing one of his "contacts" for... something. While she was his secterary and his wife, she still didn't know much about the darker side of his company. He seemed to oversee that himself. A
Brother IssuesTitle: Brother IssuesBrother Issues by xLosersRuleTheWorldx
Pairing(s): Bloodshed/F!Thornstriker; mentioned Bombrush/F!Soundwave
Warnings: AU, fluff, gender bend, het, human, office-verse
Bloodshed couldn't help but to feel annoyed.
And to some, he supposed that wasn't anything new. According to Novabomb, he was always annoyed with something. Which wasn't true, but the statement served its purpose. To make it worse, he was annoyed with something that shouldn't have even bothered him in the slightest.
But it did. Which made him even more annoyed than he already was.
Since his parents were on a business trip out of state, Diskdrive was staying with him and Thornstriker for the weekend. And while Thornstriker enjoy spending time with his... little half-brother - Primus, he still had trouble saying that - Bloodshed was less than thrilled.
It wasn't that he hated Diskdrive. He didn't. Diskdrive in general was just... a sensitive thing for him. Diskdrive was his younger brother... Thirty-two years younger.
Where to begin with this film? Well, I guess at the beginning.
Shark Tale was released in 2004 by DreamWorks Animation Studios. One year after Pixar released Finding Nemo. And yes, I don’t think this is a coincidence. Despite its shittiness, this movie was even nominated for an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature.
HOW?! I don’t know.
SO. What’s wrong with this film exactly? Why do I hate it?
Well, let’s start with the story. What is it?
Our main character is Oscar (played by Will Smith), who is an underachiever but wants to be rich and famous, and he works at a Whale Wash (get it? PUN ON CAR WASH LOLOLOLOL) with his best friend Angie (played by Renee Zellweger), who has feelings for him. Oscar owes his boss Sykes (played by Martin Scorsese) a buttload of money and if he doesn’t pay him back by the next day, Sykes will have him axed.
While all that’s going on, there’s a shark mafia gang lead by Don Lino (played by Robert De Niro), who has two sons Frankie (played by Michael Imperioli) and Lenny (played by Jack Black). While Frankie is the killer he always wanted, Don is frustrated that Lenny is a vegetarian and won’t eat fish. So, in order to “toughen him up” he has Frankie teach Lenny to be a killer.
Back to the fish, Oscar fails to give Sykes the money and Sykes has him taken somewhere far from everyone to be dealt with. Frankie and Lenny come across them and, through a series of events, an anchor ends up killing Frankie and all the fish think Oscar did it, and he exploits this in order to become rich and famous like he always wanted and becomes known as “The Sharkslayer.” Only Lenny, who was there at the scene, knows the truth and forces Oscar to let him stay with him so he live the vegetarian lifestyle he’s always wanted. In order to do so, Oscar pretends to kill Lenny, who later disguises himself as a dolphin.
This greatly angers Don Lino as he plot his revenge. As he does that, Oscar is enjoying the highlife as being rich, even landing the hot golddigger fish Lola (played by Angelina Jolie). But Angie finds out the truth and is deeply hurt and upset with Oscars actions, eventually leading to her confession of her feelings for him. With this, he dumps Lola, which makes her furious, and she contacts Don Lino about the Sharkslayer and he kidnaps Angie and…
UGH. This story is too complex for it’s own good so basically it ends with Oscar trapping Don at the Whale Wash, revealing to everyone he’s not a sharkslayer, and tells Don to accept Lenny even if he’s not the killer he wanted him to be and everyone lives happily ever honest.
SO. The story. It’s stupid. There’s just too many characters for it’s own good and hardly any of them are developed. For example, Lola’s character is just not needed. We get it. She’s a gold-digger and she never gets any character outside of that. Even Lenny isn’t necessary! But you know they added him to be “the funny character” (which, by the way, he isn’t). Angie, who’s supposed to be the main female in this story, is hardly worth mentioning because of how little screen time she has.
The story itself is nothing exciting. The main character lies to get what he’s always wanted by lying, only to be turned around by the word’s of the girl who’s always loved him. Woot. Short in simple. But, in Shark Tale, they add this entire separate thing with the Mafia Shark gang to overcomplicate things. WHY?! It’s. NOT. NECESSARY! I would have probably enjoyed it more had it not had so many unnecessary characters and plot elements.
Oh yeah. And the story’s messages. Be honest. CLICHE~~ And then the other is about acceptance and toleration. Lenny’s a “closest vegetarian” and the father is upset because he doesn’t want his son to be that way but by the end, loves and accepts him for who he is. Gee, I wonder what sort of message they were trying to give? And while it’s a great message, it was far too forced in this movie and the movie made it… stupid. :/
Not to mention these are two very different messages that could have had two very different movies!
And the animation in this movie… I hate it. Sometimes the characters look more like screen tests than they do actually animation. And if you say it’s because it was 2004, no. Sherk 2 came out in the exact same year and looked AWAY better than Shark Tale did.
And the designs of these characters… They are UGLY. Especially with how the fish in particular look. They just look weird and unappealing. What they were trying to do was literally take the faces of the cast and just sort of “fish-i-fy” them. And it failed. Oscar’s head is just weird shaped and Lenny has these weird bug eyes that are just… Creepy.
The actual setting in this movie is okay. And they do have some clever ideas. Like, for example, the Shark Mafia resides in the remains of the RMS Titanic and, though the pun is stupid, Oscar works at a Whale Wash. Overall though, the colors are kind of washed out and dull, almost sad looking.
Oh wait. The puns. Actually, just the script - it’s just nothing but puns and one-liners. And it gets really annoying and stupid REALLY FAST. Examples of these puns? Gup Clothing instead of Gap Clothing, Shell phones instead of Cell Phones, Newsreef instead of Newsweek, and other stupid little jokes like that.
Oh yeah, the jokes. Those suck too. That’s what most of the one-liner are - chances to be jokes. And most of the time, they don’t work. At all. You just sit back and watch as the movie seems to pause for to laugh while the other characters are just awkwardly blinking and waiting for the story to continue.
And then the story does continue, but you’re so run down with these catch-phrases and one-liners and awkward jokes that you’re just waiting for the film to be over. And when it is over, you’re glad because the movie was just so… Ugh.
Shark Tale, for me, gets a 2/10. While the acting is fine (except Jack Black since his voice in this just ear-grating) and the settings can be kind of interesting, everything else just drags the movie down. The jokes aren’t funny, the character designs are awful, and the story has too many elements that is makes the story too complicated for it’s own good.
For me, it’s the worst DreamWorks’ animated film and I can’t recommend it. Even if you like Will Smith.